To commemorate the first anniversary of the re-election of Denys Tezdzhanenko, we’ve reached to the Prime Minister to talk about the state of affairs in Lostisland as well as about his personal convictions. Read the exclusive interview below.
Lostisland.org: Mr. Prime Minister, let’s start with a question which probably bothers the majority of Lostislandic citizens. Can you comment on the rumors that you’re a closet atheist?
Tezdzhanenko: Instead of focusing on me, they should focus on their own relationship with the Almighty God. I say to them: Think!
Lostisland.org: What you consider your most important achievements since re-election? You were elected with promises to “clean out the rat’s nest”, do you believe corruption in Lostisland has been defeated?
Tezdzhanenko: My most important achievement since re-election in Lostisland has been stalled greatly due to the corrupt elements in the government. We are close to the release of a new e-Government portal, but unfortunately, due to the constant corruption of our officials, up to now we are unable to release a safe version free of tampering. It seems the rat’s nest has deep roots in Lostislandic politics and can not be easily defeated. Our political system is corrupt to the bone, political forces are bought and sold and personal loyalty is valued above competence and skills.
As a result, I’ve recently urged the President to create a special anti-corruption agency which shall soon start her first investigations. However, we have freed Lostisland from the clique of socialists, capitalists, nationalists, globalists, liberal, conservatives and populists who were doing nothing but robbing it.
Lostisland.org: Mr. Prime Minister, you’ve condemned pretty much all ideologies that exist. What are your own political views then? Do you think ideologies are evil per definition?
Tezdzhanenko: My political view is what is in the best interest of Lostisland, be it left, center or right. Not all ideologies are evil per definition, but quite a lot are.
Lostisland.org: Considering that you’ve mentioned the President, I’ll ask a question which is usually a taboo in Lostislandic political discourse. President Mar has been in power almost since the creation of Lostisland; do you believe he has the ability to rid Lostisland from corruption, and if so, why hasn’t he done so during the previous eleven years?
Tezdzhanenko: President Mar, may the Almighty God bless his office, has done everything he can. However, he is surrounded by incompetent advisors who hide from him the true state of affairs in our country, and by old-time friends who exploit their proximity to the President for their own gains. I however personally believe that the articles regarding the Presidency for Life should be repealed, the citizens know who to vote for, and I’m sure that President Mar shall forever be in charge.
Lostisland.org: You’re mentioning personal gains, this essentially means you’re accusing the President’s aides of corruption. Do you have evidence for such a bold claim? If yes, why don’t you release it so that our law enforcement authorities could take the necessary measures?
Tezdzhanenko: I do have evidence for such claims, however, due to the political climate in Lostisland, it would be impossible to release such info and keep being Prime Minister. I have yet to see any in positions of top leadership in our Courts or Prosecutors office who are not themselves corrupt to the bone.
Lostisland.org: Talking about Courts and Prosecutors; Mr. Prime Minister, can you comment on our Supreme Judge and Prosecutor General being personal friends who play in the same ensemble and were photographed hugging each other during the reunion of citizens? Do you think there is a possibility of a conflict of interest here?
Tezdzhanenko: Obviously there is a conflict of interest here, this is the reason why I believe either of them should forfeit their position in their offices. I also fail to see why Mr. President appointed two intertwined persons to such offices, I think this also proves my point on my answer to the previous questions.
Lostisland.org: Mr. Prime Minister, the situation you describe is disheartening. You’re saying Lostisland is corrupt to the bone, yet you’re unable to release the names of the corrupt officials in fear of losing your office. Do you have a plan to tackle corruption in Lostisland?
Tezdzhanenko: Being an ATO veteran, I learned during my service in Eastern Ukraine that it’s never a good idea to disclose your plans to your enemies. However, I’ve instructed the government to deliver a proposal within the fortnight. Would they fail to do so, I will request their dismissal.
Lostisland.org: Moving a bit away from domestic issues. Mr. Prime Minister, can you comment, as a Ukrainian, on the election of Volodimir Zelensky as President of Ukraine? Do you believe with the new administration there’s a possibility to expand the Lostislandic presence in Ukraine?
Tezdzhanenko: With the election of Volodymyr Zelensky, President-Elect of Ukraine, we will see the Ukrainian people’s determination to throw off the chains of the Soviet past. It can go both ways. As for expanding the Lostislandic presence, I see no difference between President Yanukovych, Poroshenko or Zelensky for that matter.
Lostisland.org: couple of more questions before we finish. You’re a known supporter of the Flat Earth theory; do you consider this belief essential for the Lostislandic identity?
Tezdzhanenko: Not essential, but certainly important. I consider the belief in a globe Earth an abomination.
Lostisland.org: Would the Lostislandic Government consider promoting further academic research to find more evidence for the Flat Earth theory and debunk the abominable belief you’re talking about?
Tezdzhanenko: I think yes, but it should be in line with the wishes of the citizens.
Lostisland.org: The last question, Mr. Prime Minister. You probably realize that this interview might provoke a serious upheaval among the Lostislandic elites. Are you ready to tackle the mess when it erupts?
Tezdzhanenko: Yes, I’m ready to utilize all powers in my legal ability.
Lostisland.org. Thank you for the interview!